for the widows in paradise

today has been a very off day for me.
i just am tired, too. of everything. of friendships that seem extremely detrimental to your well-being but in reality they are completely worthless and take too much out of you.
besides being tired, i am just in a weird limbo mood right now. today, especially, i was just absent from everything i did.
after lacrosse today it started poring down rain, and it was one of those weird rain showers that didn't make you want to hole up in your room. anyways, i get home and i had been listening to gary jules and jeff buckley (both of which make me cry; tears of course lead to thinking too much about what makes me sad), so i go out to get the mail and i just laid down in the street, in the rain and stayed there. i just talked out loud to whoever (God, Jacob, i don't really now) was listening up in the sky.
reversed my stress a bit!
my history teacher has decided a final should be given in april and have it be worth only 50 points.

i think holden caulfield knows his shit.
"people never believe you"